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The Black Bonnet Girls

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Welcome, Fellow Black Bonnet Girls (BBG),

👋🏾It’s Kiarra — a Black Bonnet Girl learning, unlearning, and softening in real time. What started as a space for flash fiction stories—tender vignettes capturing the beauty and complexity of life through the lens of Black girls and women—has grown into something more layered. Now, Black Bonnet Girls is a home for both creative storytelling and personal reflection.

Through my Lessons from My 20s series, I’m peeling back the curtain on what it means to grow up, love deeply, heal loudly (or quietly), and navigate the in-between spaces of becoming. Some entries are journal-style letters to myself. Others are fictional windows into truths I’m still learning how to name.

Whether you’re here for the stories or the soul work—or both—this space is for you. For the ones who feel deeply, reflect often, and are learning to give themselves the softness they once denied.

The Blog

A digital illustration of a Black woman with voluminous, natural, tightly coiled curls framing her face. She gazes directly at the viewer with soft, confident eyes and wears large hoop earrings. The artwork emphasizes texture, beauty, and the expressive movement of her natural hair.

A digital illustration of a Black woman with voluminous, natural, tightly coiled curls framing her face. She gazes directly at the viewer with soft, confident eyes and wears large hoop earrings. The artwork emphasizes texture, beauty, and the expressive movement of her natural hair.

Unruly.

Unruly explores the quiet story living inside every coil, curl, and strand. It speaks to how we’re taught to bend and straighten ourselves into shapes we were never meant to hold, and what it means to unlearn that. This piece reflects on identity, generational patterns, and the freedom that comes when we finally see our beauty as it is — not as it’s been defined for us.

Nov 271 min read

Illustration of a young woman standing in a spotlight, holding a vibrant bouquet of flowers with a solemn expression, symbolizing the heavy emotional toll of secrets carried in silence and the vulnerability required to unearth and face them.

Illustration of a young woman standing in a spotlight, holding a vibrant bouquet of flowers with a solemn expression, symbolizing the heavy emotional toll of secrets carried in silence and the vulnerability required to unearth and face them.

Entry 16: Secrets Hurt - Pandora’s Box

Secrets carry a weight heavier than we imagine. When truth is unearthed, it doesn’t just sting—it shakes foundations and unleashes emotions long suppressed. I learned that while my mind seeks preparation, only my heart can guide me through the storm. Vulnerability, though painful, has become the path toward growth and self-trust.

Lessons From My 20s

Aug 174 min read

Illustration of a little girl in a cream dress holding a bouquet of flowers under a spotlight, looking sad and alone.

Illustration of a little girl in a cream dress holding a bouquet of flowers under a spotlight, looking sad and alone.

Entry 15: Showing Up For Me

As a child, I longed for my parents to show up at school performances, awards, or milestones, but they rarely came. I learned to expect less and hope less. Now, in my 20s, I show up for myself — to work events, dinners, and life moments. It doesn’t erase the sting of the past, but it reminds me I am worth showing up for.

Lessons From My 20s

Aug 143 min read

Illustration of a woman in a flowing burnt-orange dress standing gracefully among swirling autumn leaves, symbolizing transition, warmth, and growth as she steps out of the coldness of the past into a season of color and connection.

Illustration of a woman in a flowing burnt-orange dress standing gracefully among swirling autumn leaves, symbolizing transition, warmth, and growth as she steps out of the coldness of the past into a season of color and connection.

Entry 14: Outgrowing The Past

I once lived like Winter—numb, armored, and distant. Now in my 20s, I feel more like Fall—warm, colorful, and open to connection. I’m outgrowing the constant vigilance, the heavy armor, and the belief that people aren’t worth knowing. Slowly, I’m learning to embrace both the light and dark, and it feels like healing. Over time, my inner season began to shift. I started to feel like Fall—warmer, more open, painted in the reds, oranges, and golds of change.

Lessons From My 20s

Aug 113 min read

Black woman with thought bubbles

Black woman with thought bubbles

Entry 13: Healing Work In Progress

In my 20s, therapy became my hidden season of internal work. It was messy, uncertain, and invisible to others, but it planted seeds of healing. I learned that shame wasn’t who I was but what I carried. Slowly, I began to release it, reminding myself: I am not the problem—my healing is blooming quietly from within.

Lessons From My 20s

Jul 293 min read

Illustration of a smiling woman with curly hair and glasses sitting at a desk with a laptop, surrounded by floating thought bubbles that say “I’m fine” alongside checklists and smiley faces, symbolizing the tension between survival, emotional masking, and self-expression.

Illustration of a smiling woman with curly hair and glasses sitting at a desk with a laptop, surrounded by floating thought bubbles that say “I’m fine” alongside checklists and smiley faces, symbolizing the tension between survival, emotional masking, and self-expression.

Entry 12: For The Sake Of The Greater Good

For years, “I’m fine” became my shield in survival mode—masking exhaustion, pain, and unspoken emotions. In my 20s, I’ve learned that being fine doesn’t mean silencing my feelings. It means allowing anger, sadness, and joy to exist, giving voice to the parts of myself I once buried for the greater good.In the moment, it didn’t feel like it.

Lessons From My 20s

May 176 min read

Black and white illustration of a train moving steadily along railroad tracks beneath a vast sky filled with layered clouds, symbolizing healing as a continuous journey in motion.

Black and white illustration of a train moving steadily along railroad tracks beneath a vast sky filled with layered clouds, symbolizing healing as a continuous journey in motion.

Entry 11: Healing In Motion

Healing is like a train—always moving, sometimes forward, sometimes back, with no fixed destination. Through therapy, I learned healing isn’t about quick fixes or prescriptions, but about voicing truths, uncovering hidden thoughts, and embracing progress with grace. Healing is motion, not perfection.

Lessons From My 20s

May 153 min read

A powerful underwater portrait of a Black woman with closed eyes and natural locs, her face tilted upward toward the light breaking through the water’s surface. The image conveys calm strength, transition, and rebirth.

A powerful underwater portrait of a Black woman with closed eyes and natural locs, her face tilted upward toward the light breaking through the water’s surface. The image conveys calm strength, transition, and rebirth.

Entry 10: From Surviving To Thriving

From Surviving to Thriving reflects on the shift from hustle-driven exhaustion to intentional living. During the pandemic, slowing down opened space for creativity, healing, and rediscovery. Writing became a bridge between survival and joy, transforming pressure into possibility. Thriving isn’t abandoning hustle—it’s reshaping it into balance, creativity, and self-tending.

Lessons From My 20s

May 133 min read

A digital illustration of a confident Black woman smiling brightly, dressed in a dark blazer and white blouse, holding a takeaway coffee cup. She wears hoop earrings and exudes warmth, professionalism, and joy, symbolizing success with both heart and presence.

A digital illustration of a confident Black woman smiling brightly, dressed in a dark blazer and white blouse, holding a takeaway coffee cup. She wears hoop earrings and exudes warmth, professionalism, and joy, symbolizing success with both heart and presence.

Entry # 9: Success Beyond The Numbers

Success Beyond The Numbers redefines what it means to achieve. True success isn’t just metrics or constant performance—it’s a balance between heart and strategy, results and relationships. As women, we don’t need to shed softness or vulnerability to thrive. Success can be warm, collaborative, and deeply human, rooted not only in outcomes but in how we impact lives along the way.

Lessons From My 20s

May 112 min read

A striking black-and-white illustration of a woman wearing an elaborate headwrap adorned with large leaves and a decorative mask-like design over her eyes. Her expression is calm yet intense, symbolizing strength, vulnerability, and hidden layers of identity.

A striking black-and-white illustration of a woman wearing an elaborate headwrap adorned with large leaves and a decorative mask-like design over her eyes. Her expression is calm yet intense, symbolizing strength, vulnerability, and hidden layers of identity.

Entry 8: Anxiety Fuels My Betrayal

Anxiety Fuels My Betrayal explores how anxiety can silence desires, dim opportunities, and mask vulnerability with indifference. It reflects on the self-betrayal of saying no when you want to say yes, and the lifelong journey of unmasking fear.

Lessons From My 20s

May 93 min read

A stylized black-and-white illustration of a thoughtful Black woman with voluminous curly hair, wearing hoop earrings and a long-sleeve top. She rests her chin on one hand while working at a laptop, surrounded by framed artwork and books on the wall. Her expression is reflective, suggesting deep thought or contemplation.

A stylized black-and-white illustration of a thoughtful Black woman with voluminous curly hair, wearing hoop earrings and a long-sleeve top. She rests her chin on one hand while working at a laptop, surrounded by framed artwork and books on the wall. Her expression is reflective, suggesting deep thought or contemplation.

Entry 7: Healing In Progress

Healing In Progress is an honest reflection on what it means to accept that people cannot give what they don’t have. For so long, I measured love, attention, and understanding by what I wanted, not by what others were capable of giving. The absence of those things used to anger me, leading me to cut people off. But with age comes perspective.

Lessons From My 20s

May 62 min read

IllustraIllustration of a Black woman running confidently along a road at sunrise, wearing an orange shirt, teal shorts, and sneakers. Her hair flows behind her as she strides with strength and determination, set against a backdrop of glowing clouds and soft pastel skies, symbolizing progress, resilience, and the ongoing journey of growth.

IllustraIllustration of a Black woman running confidently along a road at sunrise, wearing an orange shirt, teal shorts, and sneakers. Her hair flows behind her as she strides with strength and determination, set against a backdrop of glowing clouds and soft pastel skies, symbolizing progress, resilience, and the ongoing journey of growth.

Entry #6: Progressing Rather Than Arriving

Progress isn’t about arriving—it’s about evolving. Confidence, success, and self-love aren’t boxes to check but ongoing journeys shaped by choices, boundaries, and growth. True strength lies not in perfection but in honoring the sacred checkpoints: saying no when you’re unseen, choosing spaces that value you, and embracing rest as resistance. Life is not about “arriving” but progressing with intention and authenticity.

Lessons From My 20s

May 13 min read

Entry # 4: Introversion Is Not Less Than

Introversion is not less than—it’s a strength. Too often, introverts are seen as quiet, aloof, or missing out, when in reality our quiet strength is rooted in reflection, intentional living, and authentic connection. Honoring solitude helps us recharge, deepen empathy, and move with clarity. Choosing peace over pressure, we embrace self-acceptance and protect our energy in a world that often misunderstands us.

Lessons From My 20s

Apr 204 min read

Illustration of a strong Black woman depicted as a superhero standing tall in a city street. She wears a teal bodysuit with a golden belt and a flowing red cape, arms on her hips, radiating confidence and resilience. The word “STRONGE STRONG” appears boldly in the background, symbolizing empowerment and strength.

Illustration of a strong Black woman depicted as a superhero standing tall in a city street. She wears a teal bodysuit with a golden belt and a flowing red cape, arms on her hips, radiating confidence and resilience. The word “STRONGE STRONG” appears boldly in the background, symbolizing empowerment and strength.

Entry 5: Strength Beyond Survival

Strength has long been tied to survival—showing up, pushing through, and never giving up. But true strength is more than a facade. It’s persistence, forgiveness, vulnerability, resilience, and faith. It’s letting tears fall, asking for help, and choosing hope even in the darkest of days. Strength is not just survival—it’s the courage to be authentic, trust God, and embrace both resilience and release.

Lessons From My 20s

Apr 194 min read

Black and white illustration of a thoughtful woman with natural curly hair and a headband, surrounded by floating question marks in speech bubbles, symbolizing curiosity and introspection

Black and white illustration of a thoughtful woman with natural curly hair and a headband, surrounded by floating question marks in speech bubbles, symbolizing curiosity and introspection

Entry #3: Loving What’s Real

Learning to love what’s real means embracing flaws, quiet truths, and imperfect beauty—stepping away from performance-based love and into the freedom of authenticity.

Lessons From My 20s

Apr 193 min read

Black girl cooking in the kitchen

Black girl cooking in the kitchen

Entry #1: Discovery

Looking back at the photos, I’m proud of my 20-year-old self for baking cookies and donuts, and Whipping up soups, stews, and my favorite—chicken pot pie—was all new but certainly brought me joy.

Lessons From My 20s

Apr 152 min read

Girl sitting on the ground next to window sill thinking and reflecting

Girl sitting on the ground next to window sill thinking and reflecting

Entry #2: What I Thought I Needed vs. What I Actually Needed

Okay, so I’ll raise my hand and admit I’ve done therapy wanting to know why I think the way I do or do the things I do — beyond what my own understandings are or were. And honestly, no regrets. I hate the stigma around therapy and just the narrative that something must be— had to be — wrong with you to seek mental health help. Maybe there is, but isn’t there something wrong with all of us? Anyway, a pivotal moment or session, I should say, was...

Lessons From My 20s

Apr 144 min read

A back girl looking at herself in a broken mirror

A back girl looking at herself in a broken mirror

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

Her childhood brush with the soft bristles laid overturned on the bathroom’s titled floor—coiled strands of oily black hair .

Mar 282 min read

Her

Her

Her

Behind the vertical bars, through the narrow gaps, I see a glimpse of who I could be — should be. Eyes closed, the weight of my head res

Feb 171 min read

A boy sitting on a boat out on a river, facing ahead with his back to the camera

A boy sitting on a boat out on a river, facing ahead with his back to the camera

The Clouds

Looking up now, I wondered what he saw that convinced him that way was the way — which cloud was responsible for leading him astray?

Feb 172 min read

Colors of the Rainbow (The Original Version)

Colors of the Rainbow (The Original Version)

Colors of the Rainbow (The Original Version)

hen someone you love dies, they say you see them in everything: from the chipped coffee mug to the toothbrush with the worn bristles or even

Oct 27, 20242 min read

The Things My Mama Taught Me

The Things My Mama Taught Me

The Things My Mama Taught Me

“Why did I have to be a girl?” I grumbled, arms crossed tight against my chest, wincing as Mama combed out yet another nasty tangle in my ha

Oct 26, 20245 min read

Grandma Katherine

Grandma Katherine

Grandma Katherine

Everyone calls me K.C, except for Grandma Katherine. “Why would you go and butcher such a beautiful name?” She’d ask with one hand on her hi

Dec 7, 20235 min read

The Colors of The Rainbow

The Colors of The Rainbow

The Colors of The Rainbow

Death was always a possibility. The moment Leo told me about his leukemia, it was the first thing that came to my mind.

Dec 1, 20233 min read

A vibrant, detailed color pencil illustration of two Black sisters standing close together. The sister on the left wears a colorful headband and hoop earrings with her hair in a bun, while the sister on the right has natural curly hair and hoop earrings. Both have expressive, confident gazes, wearing white tank tops, with sketchy blue shading in the background adding depth and texture.

A vibrant, detailed color pencil illustration of two Black sisters standing close together. The sister on the left wears a colorful headband and hoop earrings with her hair in a bun, while the sister on the right has natural curly hair and hoop earrings. Both have expressive, confident gazes, wearing white tank tops, with sketchy blue shading in the background adding depth and texture.

Terrance

Every Sunday, my younger sister Nichelle would wedge herself between my legs, ready for our ritual—me styling her 4C hair into whatever new look she found online. She’d flinch as the wide-tooth comb worked through stubborn knots, her silky black bonnet waiting for the final touch. These moments were more than hair—they were our time to talk. She’d bring up people and memories I wasn’t ready to revisit, like Terrance.

Nov 22, 20234 min read

Love Dripping with Regrets

Love Dripping with Regrets

Love Dripping with Regrets

None of them needed to express why they were here using distorted rhetoric, honey-coated lips, or any of the complex words they learned...

Nov 22, 20233 min read

Illustration of three stylish Black women wearing black bonnets. Each has a distinct skin tone, hairstyle, and outfit, standing side by side above bold text reading “THE BLACK Bonnet Girls” in brown and tan lettering.

Illustration of three stylish Black women wearing black bonnets. Each has a distinct skin tone, hairstyle, and outfit, standing side by side above bold text reading “THE BLACK Bonnet Girls” in brown and tan lettering.

The Black Bonnet Girls

It was that time of year again—the Girls were ready. They carried the highs and lows of the year like luggage, but this weekend was their release. They ate, laughed, and avoided old wounds—until Leo’s name slipped out. Silence fell, memories rushed in, and the weight of loss pressed heavy. By night’s end, glasses of wine in hand, they leaned back in perfect sync, Black Bonnets crowning their heads. The world was far away; here, they were safe, seen, and together. And they’d s

Nov 22, 20234 min read

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“We write for the same reason that we walk, talk, climb mountains or swim the oceans – because we can. We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings.”
– Maya Angelou

Frequently asked questions

General

This space is for the Black girls. The introverts. The quiet thinkers. The feelers. The ones who’ve ever been silenced, overlooked, suppressed, or made to feel too much. If you’ve ever felt caught between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming, you belong here.

Whether you're navigating your 20s, unlearning survival habits, or rediscovering your voice—welcome. This space was made with you in mind.

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